X marks the spot

Life Goals

Build a house of my own, registered under my name.

Decorate it with a bunch of plants and colorful furniture.

Learn to cook on my own.

Write a book.

Manage my own finances.

Open a therapy clinic.

It struck me today

that any point in your life, sometimes you focus too much on the present. This may sound extremely contradictory to what society tells you, but you lose sight of your actual goals because of this. At present you might have relationships that need maintenance, or friends that need catching up with or exams that need studying for but what's the point?

It seems that I lost two friends last week because they are no longer close to me. I just realized I cannot count on them. And then I had an argument with my parents about who I am "allowed" to marry. I keep watching adulting shows and thinking about life after marriage. But I've completely ignored the fact that I am way behind in my studies to give entrances to get into a good college for my career. And I haven't even made a naive attempt at writing a book. I don't know shit about finances and all I know how to cook are sandwiches (banger ones, though). So if the happenings of my present are so all-encompassing and consume my thoughts, does that mean I have no room for my actual goals in life?

Why am I not concerned that the last blog I wrote was months ago?

Why am I not concerned that I haven't talked to my college professor about my career a month after deciding I want to?

Why am I not remotely bothered by the fact that I am constantly unable to learn how to invest in finances?

I wanted to drive a car on my own, and work at internships to build cash for my house. Why am I spending said cash on friends that I now no longer like???

Perhaps because you lose sight of your end goals a lot of times. What you really want. I have a list of restaurants and food places I want to go but not the topics I want to research about. I have song playlists saved on my phone but not books that inspire me. I've watched Suits and Gossip Girl and all the famous Sitcoms, some twice, but i still cannot watch that video about how to invest in the stock market dammit.

A serious reprioritization is due.

I need to stop worrying about marriage and friendships and society and family and start worrying about what I want my life to look like..... Besides my social circle.

So, I guess what I'm saying is..... Don't live in the present.

And with that titbit of wisdom;

Love, Ri.